The thing that will undoubtedly drive me mad about Ex being married to Hoochie is having to hear about all the things she does and is. I'm not certain he's smart enough to be doing this on purpose, but it's driving me batty nonetheless.
I listened to his discourse about the greatness that is Hoochie, squirming now and again lest the veins in my neck explode right then and there. I listened to him gleefully tell me how compatible they are, how much she LOVES his hobby, how sweet, nice, wonderful she is (he never says smart---I've noticed that word has never come up when he describes her. Heh). He went on about how much she loves to do home improvement projects, can shampoo the carpets (?!), and how she's sweet, nice, and wonderful.
I silently gag while he's rambling on like the 13 year old, hormonal imbecile he has become.
So, yesterday when he came over to see the kids and he started gushing about his little burning hunk of love, I cut him off abruptly, saying, "I am operating under the assumption that you ARE very compatible, you ARE infatuated with her, you're THRILLED with all the things you love to do with her---I totally get it. I would assume no less since you married her days after meeting her. And while I do care about your union, to the extent that MY children are affected by it, I also have to tell you that a bigger part of me really DOESN'T CARE."
After receiving his text on Saturday that they had, indeed, gotten hitched, I texted back, "As weird as this sounds, congrats to you guys. I hope with all my heart this works out for everyone." I am making every effort to be more than civil, more than cordial...I am trying to be "on his side" as much as I can. But listening to him brag about this relationship that still strikes me as a juvenile obsession based on nothing but pure animal attraction and....well, I don't know what else, is not something that I think is necessary for me to subject myself to.
After I had stopped him, he paused and said, "You know, you still have some really good qualities". {Let me be really clear here----if looks could kill, that man would be 6 feet under by now} I quickly replied, "I know I do. I have a lot to bring to the table. The fact that you didn't or couldn't appreciate me for me doesn't diminish who I am, and please don't think I need you to validate me; I'm fine."
Now, if only I really felt that way.
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That was a good comeback. I know it's true. I hope you can know it's true, and really feel that way soon as well.
ReplyDeleteOK, this took me a couple of days to respond to because I was so mad at the ex. It's been on my mind though.
ReplyDeleteAlthough he is now not your problem, he is still verbally abusing you. I know that it sounds harsh, but he is!!! This man knows no respect for you. M, this is very wrong. I know that you know it, but I'm just having my say.
What do all of his friends say about all of this nonsense? He was always about the looks and now he looks like a full on idiot!! GAH!
Anyhow, I love you. Protect yourself from this nutjob!
For the record...you have plenty to bring to the table. More than most. You are intelligent (socially, emotionally, spiritually, mentally....). You are gifted in social graces and hospitality. You are one of only a few people in my life that can make me laugh...you know, the real deal...the bubbles up and out of my mouth kind of laugh that can't be controlled. You are clever and creative. You are a great mommy (NO ONE does it perfectly...and NO ONE does it even adequately during emotionally traumatic life events..so you are exempt from any "mistakes" you may be making right now). You are a fun person who knows how to make people feel valued and needed. You are a real friend. You are able to balance many roles at the same time...and therefore able to join the Proverbs 31 Club. YOU are beautiful..inside and out. If I were a man...I'd be hot after you, Babe!
ReplyDeleteFunny about him never saying she is smart. That is the first thing I say about my hoochie.
ReplyDeleteWow, friend. He's a bigger idiot than I originally thought. I am so relieved though that he has found someone who can shampoo the carpets.
ReplyDeleteAnd, btw, I'm completely loving your pet names for them.