Pure Joy

It has been pure joy lately learning how to interact with my ex-husband and his new hooch---er...I mean, wife. I am counting it joy---all joy---because that's what I am supposed to do.

I count it joy when I receive a text from Hoochie that was intended for her husband saying, "She was 1o mins late!", even though I a) was not late b) had texted her that I was on my way and c) she didn't say a word to me about it

I count it joy when I call Hoochie to ask about this misdirected text and she says, "It was a joke".....and I even feel the joy welling up inside as I say back to her--"How can that possibly be a joke? It sounded like you were tattling on me"

I count it joy when my ex lectures me on how I am "overreacting" and "blowing things out of proportion" every time I ask a question to clarify something. Apparently in the handbook they've read a clarifying question from an ex-spouse automatically equals FREAKING OUT.

I count it joy when Hoochie uses the excuse, "Well, my ex used to......" when trying to justify her irrational actions.

I count it joy when I say for the millionth time----"I'm sorry for what your ex did to you, however, I am not him (he?)and I think we can be more grown up about things"

I count it joy when she looks at me with that "The lights are on but nobody's home" look. (and I count it extreme joy when I realize that my ex has that very same look....they really are a match made in heaven)

I count it joy when my children don't ask about their dad all week because I realize that they are becoming less and less attached to this selfish, stupid man.

I count it joy when my ex calls me after church to ask me what I've told people about "our situation", and nearly burst with joy when I have to explain---speaking slowly so he can understand me----that the weird looks he was getting most likely stemmed from the fact that he walked into church with a new wife, carrying a baby carrier and walking with a brood of 6 kids......

I count it joy when I tell him that the weird looks are part of walking out HIS decision...the decision he and Hoochie were very confident in 6 weeks ago, and that his actions spoke for themselves and didn't need my embellishment in order to make people raise an eyebrow.

I consider it joy when after the above conversation his biggest concern is, "Did you tell people that YOU were the one who filed for divorce?" (and I laugh with joy inside when I realize that he actually thinks he is justified since I filed the paperwork.....legalism at its finest)

I consider it Pure, unadulterated (pun totally intended) joy when I realize that my ex husband is just that----my EX husband.