Shameless whining

The thing that will undoubtedly drive me mad about Ex being married to Hoochie is having to hear about all the things she does and is. I'm not certain he's smart enough to be doing this on purpose, but it's driving me batty nonetheless.

I listened to his discourse about the greatness that is Hoochie, squirming now and again lest the veins in my neck explode right then and there. I listened to him gleefully tell me how compatible they are, how much she LOVES his hobby, how sweet, nice, wonderful she is (he never says smart---I've noticed that word has never come up when he describes her. Heh). He went on about how much she loves to do home improvement projects, can shampoo the carpets (?!), and how she's sweet, nice, and wonderful.

I silently gag while he's rambling on like the 13 year old, hormonal imbecile he has become.

So, yesterday when he came over to see the kids and he started gushing about his little burning hunk of love, I cut him off abruptly, saying, "I am operating under the assumption that you ARE very compatible, you ARE infatuated with her, you're THRILLED with all the things you love to do with her---I totally get it. I would assume no less since you married her days after meeting her. And while I do care about your union, to the extent that MY children are affected by it, I also have to tell you that a bigger part of me really DOESN'T CARE."

After receiving his text on Saturday that they had, indeed, gotten hitched, I texted back, "As weird as this sounds, congrats to you guys. I hope with all my heart this works out for everyone." I am making every effort to be more than civil, more than cordial...I am trying to be "on his side" as much as I can. But listening to him brag about this relationship that still strikes me as a juvenile obsession based on nothing but pure animal attraction and....well, I don't know what else, is not something that I think is necessary for me to subject myself to.

After I had stopped him, he paused and said, "You know, you still have some really good qualities". {Let me be really clear here----if looks could kill, that man would be 6 feet under by now} I quickly replied, "I know I do. I have a lot to bring to the table. The fact that you didn't or couldn't appreciate me for me doesn't diminish who I am, and please don't think I need you to validate me; I'm fine."

Now, if only I really felt that way.

It is finished

As of yesterday afternoon around 1:15 p.m. I am single.
No longer married.

I didn't realize what going to court would entail. I had to be sworn in and take the stand. Then my attorney proceeded to ask me to confirm questions whose answers were right there in the paperwork. Thankfully, all the answers were either "Yes" or "That's correct". Nothing difficult, just tedious.

As I walked back to join my attorney---the judge continued to ramble on about the same stuff we had just been confirming---I felt the tears welling up. The finality of it all hit me. This is really over.

My attorney leaned over to let me know I was free to go, and I walked out of the courtroom, leaving the other 6 couples in the room to dissolve their unions. {and can I just say how utterly appalled I was at the choice of clothing of most of the other people in the room? I was apparently out of fashion as I left my wife beater and Daisy Dukes at home....for the love of Pete, can we err on the side of "over dressed" next time we're entering the County Courthouse, people?}

So what does one do moments after becoming single after nearly 13 years of being attached? This someone drove to Lowe's to exchange the lightbulbs I mistakenly grabbed yesterday. And I marveled at how the world was still revolving on its axis, people were still acting like everything was normal, and life marched on with little regard to the change mine had just undergone.