Some people, upon finding out I'm in the midst of divorce, may find it interesting that I consider my faith to be of huge importance in my life. Faith, religion, Biblical standards and the like don't seem to go hand-in-hand with divorce. We all know that God hates divorce thanks to the oft quoted verse in Malachi. So, how could I claim to have a faith in God while doing something that he clearly hates.
Let me just say I'm no theologian. Not that there was any question of that, I'm sure. Just a disclaimer.
The thing I find interesting, fascinating, really, is that there are many things that aren't okay by Biblical standards. Lying, cheating, gossiping, slandering, fornicating (that word always makes me chuckle...it just sounds so...8th grade or something), killing, etc., and yet they happen daily across the globe.
I've often felt like some of the legalism of Christianity stems from trying to keep up the image. We're afraid to be found out. Would it be better to live the lie and look the part? It depends on who you ask, I think.
I recently received a letter from my former college campus pastor. In it, he talks about getting a phone call from a lesbian who is looking for a place to worship. She wants a place to be accepted not simply tolerated. I can't find the letter to quote it exactly, but he tells her something about the Bible being pretty clear about sin and it's not to be tolerated--or something like that. I've always been someone who appreciates a person with strong convictions--even if they don't match up with my own. But I had to wonder how many times this pastor has told someone about "sin not being tolerated" when they were gossiping, or lying, or using coarse language. What about when a spouse was treating their spouse disrespectfully...when a husband wasn't leading his family in the ways of the Lord, when a wife wasn't honoring her husband, when children weren't obeying their parents? What then?
All this to say that I fear what Christians will find necessary to say after I am officially divorced. Will they feel the need to educate me on what their version of the Bible says about divorce? Will they remember the times I opened up about the state of my marriage in the middle of that 10 week Bible study while everyone else nervously glanced around the room, uncomfortable with the real life dripping from my lips? What would happen if the lesbian girl just came to fellowship and meet God--and people were okay with that? What if it doesn't matter if I approve of someone and their choices? What if doesn't matter if everyone agrees with mine? Maybe instead of name tags we should wear our "unacceptable sin" (because lets face it, some of them ARE acceptable) on a label---might make it easier.
What if the church learned how to share Christ's love and left the judgement and wrath to Him?
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I deeply value your honesty here. I've heard horror stories about people being rejected at church after any number of incidents take place. It is so wrong! I'm a long way away, but you'd always be welcome here!
ReplyDeleteAnd what about judging others? Until they walk in your shoes, or attempt to understand, they don't get a say. Protecting yourself and your children is honorable.
ReplyDeleteOK, I need to stop reading. I could write a book in response to this and I need to work. This is everything that angers me about how people have distorted Christianity. I'm so sorry you are even having to consider these things. You are clearly doing this prayerfully and thoughtfully. God does not call us to be miserable or mistreated. Sometimes we have to endure things that aren't pleasant, but you have gone far beyond that. Only you and God know what is right for you. I've never even met you in person, but I believe wholeheartedly that you are in tune to that.
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