I've thought for a few months now that I should blog about this part of my life. I wish I would have done it sooner to more accurately capture the raw emotions of the moment.
As of now, it's 6-weeks since I filed the divorce paperwork with the courthouse. In our state, there's a 90 day window that must pass in order to finish up all the necessary paperwork and take a parenting class before final paperwork is filed.
We're in a holding pattern. There's a house to sell. He wants it, but can't afford it alone. I don't want it--and couldn't afford it alone even if I did. He won't move anywhere else right now because "that's not fair", and I won't uproot the kids right now. I'd rather have the house sell and then we all move to our new places. We've come to a verbal agreement---which has never meant anything in our marriage----that if the house doesn't sell by July 31, he will find a one-bedroom apartment to move into. Then, when it's his weekend with the kids I'll hang at his apartment or a friends'. It would make this less "transistional" for the kids--at least in theory. I'd be a complete idiot if I claimed that his isn't going to impact these sweet kids.
I dislike being in this treading water stage. I've packed some of my non-essentials. I'm finding that some of them actually ARE essential---books, knitting stuff, photo albums...things I love to have around me. Comforting things. I feel like I'm living out of a suitcase with no idea when I'm going home. I'm sure there's a lesson in here somewhere.
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